


Incantation

by slamncram (GettheSalt)



Series: Trettien [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Feels, Exile, Gen, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), M/M, Pre-Thor (2011), self-imposed exile
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-24 22:02:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16184060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GettheSalt/pseuds/slamncram
Summary: When Asgardians come of age, especially Asgardian princes, the festivities can last for days. For Loki, there were no festivities, and Thor's loneliness has lasted for years.





	Incantation

**Author's Note:**

> Fictober Day 3/31. It was time for some pain after all that fluff.

 

It has been two years since they were enlightened, and Thor still wishes, to this day, that it hadn’t happened the way it did.

Coming of age for Asgardians was a spectacular occasion, particularly if you were a prince. Thor’s coming of age had lasted for three days and four nights. He’d been found worthy of Mjolnir, officially seen as a man in the courts, and they had celebrated that with mead, wines, roast boar, music and revels.

It had only seemed right that Loki’s coming of age should be the same. Perhaps the speech he would make wouldn’t be full of nearly as many pauses for boisterous cheering, but Thor had fully expected that they would be spending a good portion of the week following enthusiastically celebrating his little brother.

The issue was, Loki’s was nothing like Thor’s had been. It had _started_ out much the same: a big breakfast for the royal family, shortly after the sun’s rising, table laden with meats and fruits. Looking back, Thor knows he should have realized that Frigga had been more subdued than the early morning had required, almost distracted, the meal attendants needing to address her as ‘ _my lady_ ’ at least three times before she would respond.

Something had been on her mind. Something had been worrying her.

It was only a few hours later, in the ruins of what had been Loki’s chambers, that Thor had found out what that something was.

It had been time for Loki to learn the truth of who he was. For centuries, he and Thor had both understood that they were brothers. The sons of Odin, both born of Frigga. Neither had ever suspected any of that to be untrue. There had never been any reason to suspect that one of them was not a trueborn Odinson.

There had been no reason to believe that one of them was not even Asgardian.

The truth had shocked Thor, but it was nothing compared to the devastation that Loki had felt. His magic had been impressive for decades. No one at court was able to _teach_ him, anymore, no one but Frigga. His abilities outranked all of them, and may have outranked her, too, but he was too fond to ever put his mother’s abilities to shame. It had been widely known that there were few things the youngest prince of Asgard hadn’t mastered, and he hadn’t needed instruction.

The ruins that his rooms had become, after he was told the truth, spoke of powerful magic beyond most.

Now, two years later, and not for the first time, as he marches through the most precarious swamp of Asgard, Thor wonders how much more Loki’s magic benefits from the blood of his Jotunn birth.

After that morning, Loki disappeared. No one save Thor knew where he was, and that was by design, Thor was sure. He’d never told a soul that he knew where Loki was. Not even Loki himself.

But two years was too long a time, even in their comparably long lives. Thor had been to battles, had trained hundreds of soldiers, had explored the other realms further, and he’d had to do it without his closest, most dear companion at his side.

It stung. Knowing where Loki was, but knowing he could not reach out to him. Could not reveal himself for fear of repeating the explosion of emotionally charged magic that had happened the day of Loki’s coming of age.

Eventually, though, loneliness always won out.

It’s too late in the evening for this, yet, Thor is here, mud squelching under his boots in the dusk light while he works on instinct. He is trusting nothing but the memories of tracking Loki the few times he has in the last two years, and the way the ache in his heart is slowly fading. The more he recognized things, remembered them as mental landmarks that meant Loki was close, the less it hurt, the lighter it felt.

Loki had left the palace, left the royal city. He’d gone far beyond places where most dared to go, and Thor knew that was for a reason. The first time he’d spied Loki through the thick, hanging vines and dense foliage of the swampy forest, Thor had realized that he’d used his magic not just to help him in erecting a cabin, but to create a barrier. There was a green shimmer in the air, something that, when touched, would let Loki know someone was getting far too close. Thor had always been careful to avoid that barrier.

Not tonight. Tonight, he spots it, yards ahead, and picks up his pace, ignoring the way his cloak catches on branches, loosing leaves and lichen, making them fall to the forest floor. He is not being careful, not masking his presence, not treating Loki like an animal he is hunting. He passes through the barrier, grunting at the buzz of pain he feels through his entire body. A deterrent, for someone much weaker than him.

It takes much longer than Thor had expected for the feeling of a blade to press against his throat, a hand twisting in his hair and pulling him back to the sound of an angry snarl.

“I let you go, the other times, because you didn’t dare _this_ , Thor.” Loki hisses, his mouth close enough to Thor’s ear that he can feel breath against his skin. “Coming to kill the Jotunn witch?”

Thor smiles. “Move the blade, and perhaps we can speak.”

Loki’s laugh is bitter, humourless, but it makes Thor want to cry. It has been so long since he’s heard his voice, so long since he’s heard even that mockery. It’s almost too much.

“Move the blade, and you signal the soldiers waiting in the trees, and drag me back to Asgard to face punishment for destroying a wing of the palace?”

“Norns. So long apart, and you think I would want to share our reunion with anyone else?” Thor reaches up, wrapping his fingers around Loki’s wrist and being surprised to find very little resistance. It is enough that Thor is able to take advantage, pull Loki around in front of him. The fingers in his hair pull, sending pain through his scalp for a moment before Loki lets go, and Thor can properly see him in the gloom.

Bright red eyes under his hood, his dark hair gathered into plaits at his temples and disappearing down over his shoulders. And his skin...

Thor reaches out with his free hand, unthinking, making a soft shushing noise when Loki flinches at his touch. He doesn’t try and stop him, doesn’t try to warn him off, and Thor’s fingers find that the blue skin that he’d once known as rosy was soft, and not so cold to the touch.

He’s given up the glamour. Frigga had explained to Thor that Loki’s appearance had always been _Loki’s_ doing, and not Odin’s. The magic in Loki had responded to his need of care and a family, as an infant. Now, knowing the truth, Loki has clearly given up letting his magic hide him.

Thor lays his palm against Loki’s cheek, smiling, swallowing around the lump in his throat.

“I haven’t come to kill the Jotunn witch.” His voice is softer than he’d intended, but it is only the two of them, here, and Loki won’t need to strain to hear him. “I’ve missed him. I’ve come to protect him. And maybe spend the night.”

Loki’s eyes are suspicious, regarding him in the fading light. Thor can’t blame him; it seems far beyond what should be rational. It _is_ far beyond what should be rational. But it’s the truth, and Thor will do whatever is necessary for Loki to see it that way.

“No.”

It’s not the answer that Thor’s been prepared for, but, more than that, he’s not been prepared for what Loki does next. The way Loki pulls away from him, and flicks his slender, black-nailed fingers. To Thor, it feels as though every second of it, Loki is moving underwater. The rejection is too stunning for him to move, to fight back, before the force of Loki’s magic hits him, and he’s flying back. Thrown, through the air, through the barrier, out into the forest, tumbling over himself until he finally collapses in the mud, cloak torn, hair wild and no doubt knotted, but unhurt.

_No_.

No had been Loki’s answer, and when Thor forces himself to his feet, intending to storm back there and demand Loki hear him, he finds _no_ had been Loki’s incantation.

The forest has closed in around the cabin, more of a barrier than the magics Loki had thrown up. The cabin is there, and Thor knows it, but Loki has made it so if he wantsreach it, he’ll have need to find another way in. The swamp has spread, gullies and crevasses sinking themselves into the forest floor.

_No_ had been something to keep Thor out.

Perhaps for now, Thor thinks, the pain in his heart returning, it will.

But not for long. Not forever.

“I’m coming back, Loki.” He promises, quietly, turning to begin his long march back to the royal city.

_No_ had been Loki’s incantation. _I’m coming back_ will be Thor’s.


End file.
